Published: July 2026 | Vital Blink
Forgetting Words During Menopause: What Was Actually Happening In My Brain
It wasn’t embarrassment. It was estrogen changing three brain chemicals at once.
I almost wish I could blame it on a touch too much of wine. This was an embarrassing moment for me.
My husband and I had gone to a couple’s house for dinner. They’re very dear friends, so I shouldn’t feel embarrassed. We sat down to dinner, and I was excited to tell them about something, but I kept losing my words mid-sentence. It was like I wasn’t speaking fluently, and I could see on their faces that they noticed.
I almost felt like they had compassion for me, as if they were listening to somebody with a disability. I pushed through it and got what I needed out of my brain and through my mouth. I didn’t like feeling this way. Believe me, I hadn’t had a sip of wine yet. That wasn’t it.
I knew right away what this was really about. It wasn’t just an awkward moment at dinner. It was about my memory and how sharp my thinking still was. What was going on with my brain, and my capacity?
I’ve also been pushing myself hard, with work, helping others with their projects, and so much more I carry, and I know I’ve been running my brain on overdrive. This isn’t only a woman’s issue. Men go through this too. Women my age carry one added disadvantage, though: menopause changes my brain’s chemistry in a specific way.
Why Estrogen Runs Your Brain’s Chemistry
Estrogen is not only a reproductive hormone. Inside the brain, estradiol acts directly on the systems that produce memory, motivation, and mood. A 2019 review in Neurotherapeutics by Russell, Jones, and Newhouse lays out exactly how: estrogen increases the release of acetylcholine in the hippocampus, the brain’s memory center. It supports the neurons that produce dopamine, the chemical behind focus and drive. It also raises serotonin activity, which keeps mood steady and thinking clear.
Three systems. One hormone regulating all of them at once. That is not a side effect. That is the wiring.
What Is Acetylcholine?
Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter, a chemical messenger neurons use to communicate. In the hippocampus, it plays a central role in forming and retrieving memories, including the specific word you’re reaching for mid-sentence. Estrogen increases how much acetylcholine your brain releases, and that release drops when estrogen does (Russell et al., Neurotherapeutics, 2019).
What Actually Changes: Processing Speed and Verbal Memory
When estrogen falls during the menopause transition, all three systems shift together. The Neurotherapeutics review documents a measurable drop in processing speed and verbal memory during this period, meaning the brain takes longer to work through a thought and longer to retrieve the specific word attached to it (Russell et al., Neurotherapeutics, 2019).
That is what was happening to me at that dinner table. Not a disability. Not something to accept without question. A hormone doing exactly what the research says it does when it drops.
Verbal memory is the ability to recall and produce a specific word on demand, which is different from general memory. You can know exactly what you want to say and still lose the word for it mid-sentence, because retrieval, not storage, is what estrogen is influencing here.
You used this in a recent blog post. It definitely is not my language, and I don’t know why anybody would think it’s a character flaw to lose a word mid-sentence or something like that. So, I don’t like the hype. I need something to replace that with.
I have been pushing myself hard. Work, other people’s projects, everything I carry without putting myself first. I always assumed if my brain felt taxed, it was because I was asking too much of it. That is still partly true, but it is not the whole picture.
Men experience cognitive load from overwork too. Their brain chemistry does not shift underneath them the way mine has. Women my age are running the same demanding lives on a brain that lost a hormone actively responsible for keeping three neurotransmitter systems firing well. That is not weakness. That is an added physiological cost most of us were never told about.
If brain fog reaches beyond word-finding for you, the same estrogen drop affects your prefrontal cortex differently. I wrote about that mechanism separately: Brain Fog Menopause: 5 Proven Neurological Changes.
What Actually Supports Brain Chemistry During This Transition
Understanding the mechanism matters because it points to what can actually help, rather than what you are told to just live with. Acetylcholine production depends on choline availability in the brain. Citicoline, once broken down, supplies choline directly as a substrate for acetylcholine synthesis (Jasielski et al., Nutrients, 2020).
This is why Calm Energy includes citicoline: direct support for the same chemical pathway estrogen was doing extra work on before the transition.
What Is Citicoline?
Citicoline is a compound your body breaks down into choline and cytidine, both of which support brain cell function. Choline becomes a direct building block for acetylcholine, the same neurotransmitter estrogen normally boosts in the hippocampus. A systematic review across neurological conditions confirms this mechanism holds regardless of dose (Jasielski et al., Nutrients, 2020).
My Perspective
I have samples of Calm Energy sitting in my kitchen right now, and I’ve barely touched them. Not because I don’t believe in the formula. I’m holding onto them on purpose, so I can hand them to other women first. I don’t want anyone hesitant about trying something new to have to take my word for it. I want them to feel it themselves.
What changed for me was not a product. It was understanding. Once I knew that losing a word mid-sentence was estrogen doing less of a job it used to do automatically, I stopped treating it as a personal failure. I started treating it as information. That shift alone changed how I walked into that couple’s house the next time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I forget words during menopause?
Forgetting words during menopause happens because falling estrogen reduces acetylcholine release in the hippocampus, the brain region responsible for retrieving stored memories, including specific words. Estrogen also affects dopamine and serotonin activity, which is why focus and mood often shift at the same time. (Russell et al., Neurotherapeutics, 2019)
Why does estrogen affect verbal memory and processing speed?
Estradiol acts directly on neurotransmitter systems in the brain, not just reproductive tissue. It regulates acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin activity together. When estrogen drops during the menopause transition, all three shift at once, which research links to a measurable drop in processing speed and verbal memory. (Russell et al., Neurotherapeutics, 2019)
What can help with word-finding difficulty during menopause?
Understanding that word-finding difficulty during menopause is physiological, not a personal failing, is the first step. Supporting the same chemical pathway estrogen influences, specifically acetylcholine production through choline availability, is one direct approach. Citicoline supplies choline as a substrate for acetylcholine synthesis. (Jasielski et al., Nutrients, 2020)
Is forgetting words during menopause a sign of dementia?
No. Occasional word-finding difficulty during the menopause transition is linked to a temporary hormonal shift in brain chemistry, not a degenerative process. It reflects estrogen’s regulation of acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin activity. Persistent or worsening memory changes are still worth discussing with a physician, but this pattern has a well-documented hormonal explanation.
Does this affect men too?
Men can experience cognitive load and word-finding slips from stress and overwork, but they do not lose the specific hormonal support estrogen provides to the hippocampus, dopamine neurons, and serotonin activity. That added shift is specific to the menopause transition, which is why women often notice these changes more acutely during this period.
Want direct support for your brain chemistry during this transition?
Ready for the next step? Get early access to Calm Energy, our first signature formula.
Sources: Russell JK, Jones CK, Newhouse PA. The Role of Estrogen in Brain and Cognitive Aging. Neurotherapeutics. 2019;16(3):649-665. doi.org/10.1007/s13311-019-00766-9 | Jasielski P, Piędel F, Piwek M, Rocka A, Petit V, Rejdak K. Application of Citicoline in Neurological Disorders: A Systematic Review. Nutrients. 2020;12(10):3113. doi.org/10.3390/nu12103113 | Note: Verify all PubMed links before publishing.
